While reading this: I laffed. But it’s probably just me.

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Two All-American heroes in action movies of their own eras! (ok, that’s debatable for Bruce Willis) Let’s see how they turn out head to head. Die Hard 4.0 (a.k.a. Live Free or Die Hard) Die Hard has been updated for the Net generation, and, in the UK and Australia at least, it’s even pitched with a software-esque version number (for the record, I prefer the American name). The scenario is a “fire sale” - a comprehensive hack of all the systems we depend on in our modern life. John McClane gets dragged into it involuntarily while escorting a white-hat hacker to Homeland Security, and as soon as there’s bullets flying from helicopters it’s on. ...

Pixar have a history of telling stories which take the ordinary and recast it into something far more wondrous - who didn’t, after watching Toy Story, take a second look at their toys and imagine their lives when they were alone? It is perhaps a unique advantage of animation to be able to do these things in a believable way and be able to get away with it consistently. Ratatouille continues in that tradition, perhaps only broken by The Incredibles, which was a movie that could have been done with ordinary techniques (though of course nowhere near as fun). It’s the story of a French rat, Remy, who would be chef, and if that doesn’t twig every sense of improbability then perhaps you’ve just watched Cars. Which was about a world of cars and cars alone (only in America would that concept be even raised, let alone considered bankable). ...

The world of ties is a little curiouser than I imagined. Ever since that conversation, I’ve mentioned it a couple of times - in appropriate circumstances, of course - and I’ve got varied replies. One was most interesting, pointing out that the length of the tie is also something indicative, as it can be made longer or shorter depending on where the first cross-over point is - a tie which ends below the belt buckle apparently indicates an available bachelor. This ties (ed: I’m sorry) right in with the previous conversation, and had the person who know the length as being an indicator suddenly realising why it meant what it meant. Presumably the shorter the tie the less attention that is being drawn to the man-bits? of course there’s a limit (i.e. when the thinner end pokes out from behind the wider end, but that could mean something else entirely!), but it’s interesting to think… ...